Let me but remember…

My spiritual life has been a bit rocky of late and my physical life is running quite ragged.  (I’m a full-time college student for the first time and my inner self doesn’t like it much at times.  #adultingishard)

The fundamental truths in these songs are so important and I am holding on to them as my life feels like it’s rocking back and forth on its foundations.  May they bring you encouragement as well.


Healing Liquid


I am wandering
When I seem to find an oasis
It disappears
And I am left
Why this desert
Why this pain
Why me
My soul is crying out in anguish
My heart is writhing in this sandy place
I look and see nothing but glittering heat
Gone are the illusions of a simple life
Gone is the naivety of my childhood
Lost is the first joy
That lit my heart on fire
That woke me in the morning with a song on my lips
I am emptied
Scraped clean of all that is remotely shallow
My tongue thirsts
But for no mere water of man
Struggling to my feet
I stare
Piercing the view, searching for only a glimmer
And it is then that I look down
At my feet
I see what my soul has longed for
A stream of truth winds through this barren place
I fall to my knees and lift the healing liquid to my parched lips


There is hope here
There is joy in this sorrow
My legs are still shaky
It is still a battle to stay by this stream
I am tempted to wander away
To search elsewhere for healing
But it is here
Only here
That I may be saved
So I shall follow this pathway out of  my desert
I shall rest in it
I shall never leave it
I shall drink of it every morning
And all throughout my days
All my days
And one day soon
I shall find the end of my desert sands
Led out by this truth
And I shall look fully into the face of Him whom I have sought
It shall be ever green
And never shall I leave His side
For there
I will be home

Lit! (a review)

I loved this book.  Tony Reinke has written one of the clearest arguments for why we, as Christians, should read, how to read, what to read, when to find time to read, etc.

The beginning of this book was super helpful.  Reinke spent nearly the first half explaining the theology of reading.  Essentially, why we read.  I’ve always loved words and these chapters opened up to me the beauty of letters and phrases and sentences in a way that I had never seen before.

We are made to be a people of words.  Our culture has placed such an emphasis on the image and the sound-wave, while dropping the significance of reading.  God has created us to be a people who read.  It stretches our minds to greater heights of knowing Him, seeing His beauty, and seeking His glory throughout all of life.

The second half of the book is a practical guide to reading and I enjoyed it just as thoroughly as the first half.  It has encouraged me to persevere in finding time to read and to say no to the distractions that seek to keep me from the discipline of reading.  I now feel better equipped to read well for the glory of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

(Picture taken from Goodreads)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Confession: I read the 12th chapter of this book first.  Before everyone starts shooting me for degrading the proper way to read a book or any other outlandish things you wish to shout at me, I had a purpose in this.  The 12th chapter was entitled, “Marginalia” and it is essentially a how-to chapter for writing in books.  I wanted to be able to know how to write well in books, so I could mark up the entire book.

I know.  Writing in books is evil.  The fear of writing in books was put in me at a very early age and I still feel a delicious rebellion when I write in my books now.  But, as Tony Reinke points out in chapter twelve, there are very good reasons for writing in books and now I fully agree with him.  I’d encourage you to pick up a copy of the book, read chapter twelve, and start brandishing your reading pen (or all of them, if you’re like me and believe that the inside of a book should look colorful).

Don’t Waste Your Life (a review)


As an eighteen year old living in the 21st century, it is all too easy to waste this life that I’ve been given.  I am grateful to men like John Piper who are burdened with the desire to save my generation from the folly of wastefulness.  With this burden in mind, Piper penned a book in 2003 called Don’t Waste Your Life.  I just finished reading this book and I have to say, I think it is one of the most meaningful, convicting books that I have ever read.

He starts by documenting his search for fulfillment, the tumult he felt without it, and the great joy that overwhelmed him when he realized Christ was the ultimate fulfillment of everything and that to bring Him glory is to take joy in Him.  He continues to weave this thread throughout the remainder of the book, which caused my heart to yearn towards Christ and also forced me to come to grips with the shallowness of my current life.  I know that I am wasting my life, but I am also given hope that that can change.

I would more than likely have been even more convicted if I had had the time to sift through this book more slowly.  Piper’s writing style was a bit deeper than most of the nonfiction books I’ve read in my life.  He doesn’t beat around the bush when he says things, but sometimes it can seem to take longer to describe the bush.  I needed to read this book in a relatively short amount of time and found it difficult sometimes to really grasp what he was saying in my lack of time to stop and meditate.

All in all, though, it was a very good read and I can foresee reading it again in the future.  To you, my fellow readers I would say, “May the cross of Christ be your only boast, and may you say, with sweet confidence, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Piper 179)

Piper, John. Don’t Waste Your Life. Crossway, 2003.
(Picture taken from Goodreads)

Soul’s Dark Night


My soul has been lacking in spiritual fortitude of late.  It seems like every time I turn around, I’ve fallen down yet another flight of stairs and landed in yet another sticky pile of sin.  Which of course does not just brush off with one swish of a Clorox wipe.

My heart is heavy with defeat.  Sluggish with the bitter aftertaste of forbidden things that have lied their bitter lies.  I hate the look of my face in the bathroom mirror.

Funny, I keep growing up more, doing more, obtaining more things that promise satisfaction, full and lasting.  And I’ve come up empty so many times, not the least of them today.

My heart is scraped clean of all goodness and I find myself raw.  Flayed open to the core.  I am spilling out with every heave of my burning chest.  There is nothing left of me.

I need You.  I breathe it out into the dark night of my soul.  I’ve lived too long like this.  The ache for redemption is pushing itself into every corner of my soul and it hurts.

Are You there?  Tentatively, I stretch out my fingers, feeling through the blackness, reaching.  Are You there?

My fingertips collide with something in the darkness.  A book.  I grasp it with a sudden desperation.

You are here.  I drink You in through the pages.  My soul fills to overflowing and still I thirst for more of You.

I search You out in the words.  Your beauty shines through every brush-stroked letter.  Slowly, I find You have written my story in these lines.

I see my search for peace in foolish things.  I see my loss of hope and my crushing despair.  But everywhere, woven as a thread through an entire tapestry, I see You.

Wooing me to You.  Offering a pathway of redemption.  Holding out Your hands for a lifetime of grace.  Preparing an eternal home of peace.

I will follow You, my King.  Lead me down this pathway.  Take my hand and show me grace.  Carry me home when the night is spent and Your light shines brighter than the sun.

And until then, chain my heart to Yours.  I am lost without You.



I desperately want to travel…

I sometimes ache to see the world, to taste new beauties…

I want to stand and look over the rolling plains and valleys of New Zealand…

I want to climb the steps of a crumbled amphitheater…

I want to ride a bright red, double-decker bus in the heart of London…

I want to stand in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower…

I want to weep in the sorrow of Auschwitz…

I want to creep along the underground catacombs of Rome…

I want to climb and gather the flowers of a mountain pasture in Switzerland…

I want to hear hundreds of voices rising and falling in different languages…

I want to feel the bustle of others rushing to their destinies and wonder how I fit into it all…

I want to rest in the silence of a star-filled sky…

I want to feel the wind in my face and the sun at my back…

I want to breathe the air of different universes…

I want to live…


But even more than this, I long for the final redemption of my people…

I wait with bated breath, for the day when my Redeemer’s voice falls upon my listening ear…

I yearn for time to be exploded in one ultimate cataclysmic motion and the everlasting effects of eternity to seep into my body…

Then, will I stand completed before Him…

No more yearnings…

No more hurts…

No more tears…

No more long, dark nights…

Just Him….